I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
