This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
