I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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