You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Randomize