when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
