so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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