I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
