Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
