There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
