There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
