i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
