they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
