My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
