I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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