Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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