girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
