yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
