He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
