Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Randomize
