2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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