i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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