but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Randomize
