That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
