so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
