So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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