he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
