I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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