she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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