at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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