Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
