Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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