just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Are we still banned from the library?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
