Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize