Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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