champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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