you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
