your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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