The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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