man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
