remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My penis needs a shock collar
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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