i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
