so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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