Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We have so much sex to catch up on
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
