I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
