My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Floor bacon is actually really good
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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