Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
