At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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