I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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