Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
