She is in my trunk
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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