True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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