I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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