is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
