Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
MIDGETS
????
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
