i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
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