I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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