well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
