you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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