I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
