Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
