Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
