she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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