If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
