She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
