So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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